I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
