marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
