I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
