It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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