My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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