Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
