i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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