I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
