Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize