I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
