I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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