yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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