I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize