google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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