Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
