i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
