Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
