is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
