how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
