I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
