i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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