He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
