my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
two words: eviction party
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
