I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
