so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
home. puking in laundry basket.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
