what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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