Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize