WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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