How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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