so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
