That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
