Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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