The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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