im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
