I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
