we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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