I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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