woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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