you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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