please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I understand Curling. That high.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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