Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
