so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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