Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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