dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
