Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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