I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
