Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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