Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
