Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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