Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
