Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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