This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
