glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
