Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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