am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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