Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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