mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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