hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
