i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
