Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
