i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
