the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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