Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
