I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
