Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
