Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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