You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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