Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
