ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
