i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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